In a trice

"I think you've done well so far - you haven't hurt any patients." (Yet) Those were the words of from our firm consultant.

The last several weeks have been an insight into my future workplace, a (mostly) functional hospital with (mostly) live patients. This doctor business is both "training" as well as "learning". It's a stark contrast to the last two years which was pure "learning". And the pas few weeks, I sure learnt a lot of things, including a few vaguely related to medicine, (I think).

First of all, all stereotypes were shattered on the first day as the hospital infection control policy personnifed by the ward nurse dictated that all white coats, ties, long sleeves and wrist watches are out. I was glad to oblige as I did not have to shell out more money to get a new one as the old one from last year (which was already too small then) looked more like a blouse than exuding any medical authority, (which of course would dissipate instantly as soon as any words escaped my mouth).

Secondly, I was in awe of the F1 army (house surgeons or house officers or PRHOs for those who happened to blink their eyes recently), particularly the one in my firm. To think that I would have to perform some sort of metamorphosis into this sleepless, super-efficient, smooth-talking, all-knowing, friendly doctor in da 'hood (ward) gave me some (!) inspiration. (I hope it was inspiration I felt.)

Thirdly, patients love doctors and how do they recognise these doctors? Stethoscopes! Who else wears stethoscopes? Ding ding ding! Medical students! With these all-areas (expensive!) access tokens we call stethoscopes, patients are taken unawares as they see us approaching (trying not to accost). Of course, we introduce ourselves as medical students, (There's a bit of GMC 'probity' for you) like parrots. But it's too late before they've fallen into our brilliant Patient Trap (C).

A lot of patients know what's wrong with them from the internet, family friends who happen to be related to friends who have friends in the medica profession, medical textbooks, etc. In fact, there are even a growing population of patients (as sampled by me) who have filled bookshelves with their volumes of casenotes. But few know what's making them better. They all take pills like MnMs - the colours are different but it's all medicine to them.

Patients are looking for help and support; more often than not they receive only the maintenance of their physical well-being. Maybe medical students can fill a gap.